From: Jasper
Date: 10/21/03
Time: 7:32:31 PM
Remote Name: 68.73.204.63
Charlie,
I’m not too sure about Tyson, either. That’s not good enough. It’s not good enough to tell me that he got what he deserved or that he got what he got because the woman who accused him was sweet and innocent looking and he had a bad reputation for violence.
Come on, now. The man was a boxer well known for being a brute inside and outside of the ring. Some women are attracted to men like that. Some women enjoy rough sex AND forced sex. It’s one of those dirty little secrets civilized people are not supposed to talk about. Women are NOT the same. No does not always mean no. Sexual heaven for some women is sexual hell for others and some women have the need to be “forced” to do things they want to do but “good women” are not supposed to want.
When I ran into a woman like this I thought she was nuts. When I looked into it I found that she might have crossed the line in trying to include me in her fantasy but she wasn’t alone in her fantasy. She wasn’t even in the minority.
I learned that the most common female sexual fantasy was rape. I don’t mean real rape, where a man suddenly overpowers her, beats her or threatens her life and forcers her to do things she doesn’t want to do. I mean a harmless vision of herself helpless to stop the sexual advances of a powerful man who can have any woman he wants but is powerless to resist her. In the fantasy, the woman picks the “rapist” who finds her irresistible.
I strongly suspect that the male counterpart to this rape fantasy is where the guy sees himself having sex with a woman would reject him in real life. She entices him. She teases him mercilessly. He forces himself on her and she resists. He is so strong that he has his way with her and he is such a great lover that she is soon writing in ecstasy.
Real rapists don’t see their victims as sex partners and they don’t care how their victims feel about what they do to them. These people are predators. They are the hunters; their victims are the prey. And that’s that. To me, forcing people to say something in public about their sex lives that they don’t want to reveal is just another form of rape. If Bryant is the victim, the police, the prosecutor and the judge are raping him. .
I think the public would be better served than they are today if they were more honest with themselves and each other about sex instead of trying to impose their idea of what sex should be onto others or trying to live up to a role that doesn’t fit them (a major theme in Doing Without). The girl I mentioned who wanted me to play “rape” wasn’t crazy and I was not morally superior to her. We just weren’t sexually compatible.
What happed with Tyson could have been rape but it could have been a bad case of crossed signals. He groped the woman in public. He made crude sexual remarks about her in public. THEN she went to his hotel room with him alone. For what? –Jasper