From: Jean
Date: 10/2/01
Time: 10:32:21 AM
There is a saying in psycology that if you want to have an emotionally good childhood, pick your grandparents well.
Taliban means students. These people started as kids and were sent to schools in Pakistan and were litterally brain washed into beliving and acting as they are doing.
It has little to do with religion. They believe that it is the musliem religion cause that is what they were taught from a young age.
Of one cannot excuse them because of this anymore than one can excuse a mafia member for murder because they have been taught from a young age that honor is more important than murder.
Not to excuse but to understand. There is a big difference. I used to tell my teen age clients who were playing the poor me act, that I could understand why they felt that way but it was no excuse for there behavior. Having empathy for them helped them and me, but sympathey did neither of us any good.
I needed to know their background to help them make changes in their lives. I needed to understand what their motivations and parental traing was like and to use that as a starting point.
When one does not have the fundamental survival things, food, shelter and clothes, one reverts to animal behavior and mores and laws mean nothing. If any of us were truly starving and our family was starving any of us would steal or break both law and religious beliefs.
The first thing that you do with a run away child is feed them. Until you do, you can't talk to them.
This crisis is probably a short term thing but terroism is a long term thing. First you got to feed them, then listen to them talk (note this is different than talk to them) and then to understand their motivation. And then to CHANGE OURSELVES to take their motivation away. And that is tought because one may think that they loose face in having to change themselves.
Punishment or fear of punishment is a short term solution and only increses their motivation. With a kid you are using it to keep them safe till they gain the maturity to do it themselves. Anything else is acting out of your own immaturity.
I am sure that this is a quote from somebody, but someone said if you want to understand people, go watch the kids on a playground. Everything that people do will happen right there. In other words children are much more simplistic and it is easier to see thur them. So we need to see them in a much more simplistic way. You start with are their survival needs being meet, then are their security needs being meet, long before you get into the concept of freedom and alteristic philosophies.