From: Jean
Date: 5/19/01
Time: 10:14:41 AM
The learned helplessness is one of the players in the game of abuse. Even if they should conciouly know that the door is open, the subconcious does not believe it.
Now in another home another player is developed which is the abuser. This player may conciously think that he will never beat up his wife, but subconciously he is programed to do it.
So at courting time their subconcious look for the other player. Counsiouly they are looking for just the opposite. Everything is fine for a while, very loving cause these people are hungry for love. But then the subconcious takes over and he starts hitting her. They keep doing this as they may conciouly know the door is open, but the subconcious does not believe this. So they keep going back to each other cause they think they have to do this for the love that comes at the forgiveness time.
The studies that you quoted come out of the behavior model of explaining behavior. Game theor is just another model of explainging the same behvior. To treat in the behavior model is by changing behavior by rewarding the dog as he gets closer to the door and finally gets out.
The game theory treatment is to conciouly understand what the subconcious is doing. And to have to relate to people who refuse to play the game and who tell you when you are gaming and when you are not.
For example I used to play a game of YES BUT. I would say things like YES I would like to get a better job, BUT I don't have time to look. Now the minute I said BUT, the group knew I was into a game. The group would yell BUT and I was not allowed to talk for a while. Now I never knew I was saying BUT. They would play back the tapes so I could hear myself saying it. Now I only played a 1st degree game. If I really needed to get a better job for a big reason, I would break out of the game and do it. Now taking the same situation, if I had been playing a heavier game, at the 2nd level, I would be working at a very menial job, not able to pay my bills and having to depend on someone else to pick up the slack. At a 3rd degree level, I would have had to rob someone cause I could not get a better job.
Now I can usually recognize this myself, still play the game a bit. And if you watch what I write you will find that I use the word BUT more than the average person. We all play 1st degree games the problem comes when they get to be making a real problem.
Now if I read OJ's deposition over and over I might be able from the words that crop up over and over catch what game he was playing.
Now in Cora's deposition the big clue is that she used the word "Confused" over and over. She could not be blamed for lying cause she was confused and she may not have been lying on purpose. It is impossible to know if she just did that or whether her attorney said to do it. But if it was her game, she would be a chronic lyer, never realizing she did it. But she was also playing a heavier game of some kind that I am not sure what it was. But they were all playing seperate games that were part of a massive game that came to a head then. In Cora's case her husband had just found out that Cora was with her boyfriend and not at Nicole's like she told him she was going to be.