From: Kari
Date: 5/16/01
Time: 12:57:43 PM
I was wondering how you decided a woman who continues to go back to an abusive husband is playing games. A great deal of study has been done on this subject. It is called Learned Helplessness. Whether man or woman, an abused person truly believes they cannot get out. This is why there are projects that give haven to abused women. Unfortunately men don't have the same kind of help as women, and yes there are seriously abused males whether in straight or gay relationships. The Failure Chain is also real. A child grows up believing they can never complete anything and their entire lives, if the chain is not broken, they never finish anything. It may seem like a game, but get caught in one of these traps and you can forget it. Also, statistics show that an abused women once totally free of an abusive man rarely enters another relationship with an abusive person. I know everyone knows someone who did this, but the MAJORITY of abused people who find the ability and the strength to free themselves from the abusive relationship will be strong enough the minute an abusive person does something that throws up a red flag the former abused person will walk away and not be involved. It is one of the few kinds of problems people have that getting out of the situation and staying out solves the tendency to go back into it.